


A Journey

by zauberer_sirin



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/pseuds/zauberer_sirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's taken a bit to get her back in the country but now she's in East City and ready to help</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Journey

  
Her hands smell of pie – of holding on to a little parcel through a train journey.

`Miss Winry told me to give you this.´

She hands out the package and Roy Mustang accepts it with a soft smile and a bow.

Now that she is here Mei feels a little awkward about the whole thing; about how the letter came from General Mustang asking for help. The letter was not formal but her whole surroundings are, now. The uniforms. All these adults expecting of her. This part of the journey she made alone – Winry walking her to the station, Winry telling her not to worry and how these people would take care of her. Mei who for the longest time didn't need anyone to take care of her. Mei that is slowly getting used to the comfort of people and is forgetting how to surround herself with adults without awkwardness.

  
***

  
With everything going on in the country – in both their countries – it has taken quite a long time to get her the proper papers to come here, no longer an illegal inmigrant.

They get down to business quickly. Roy escorts her to where Jean Havoc is, with Riza Hawkeye following a couple of steps behind, like a comforting echo. Mei is a bit surprised to see the differences – it's a very childish thing to believe, that everybody else's lives have stood still while one was away. She thought everything would be exactly as the last time she saw it (the first shock was Winry, and Ed, and Winry _and_ Ed). Everybody has been exactly as busy she has, living. It throws her off balance a bit, Hawkeye's short hair and this weird air of happiness and calm she has, because when they last saw each other they both had blood smeared across their clothes, and Mei had Hawkeye's on her hands.

`I feel bad for asking your help again, after how you saved my then-lieutenant's life,´ Roy says.

The way he says lieutenant as if she weren't walking with them by his side; the nuance of it Mei tries to understand, that edge between childhood and adulthood where she stands and feels that every conversation with an adult is eavesdropping. Not like the conversations with Scar and Yoki which were easy and natural and careless like spilled sunlight. Now, with the distance, she wonders if she could ever have those conversations again – now everything riddled with this tension, this edge, this feeling of intruding the world of adults.

Back in Xing she learned that children are pampered and treasured; she has learned to be together with everybody, and be accepted and that has changed her, and now she feels odd, and strange the silence of the adults walking ahead of her, trusting that she'll keep up, not caring for reassurances like small talk. Mei feels she needs to speak.

`Li – Emperor Yao, I mean. He gave me these letters for you.´

`I see, of course. How is the brat?´

Mei smiles mischievously.

`He said to tell you that he's very disappointed that he is Emperor already and you are taking such a long time to become President.´

`The nerve! Heard that, Hawkeye? We need to hurry then.´

Hawkeye nods, as if taking it all very seriously.

  
***

  
There is a man in a wheelchair with a bored expression on his face.

`So first you make me move all the way to East again and then... you've sent a little girl to sort me out,´ Havoc protests. `That is just pathetic, colonel.´

`Oi, didn't you heard, they promoted me.´

`A bureaucratic error no doubt.´

`- not a little girl...´

`What is it, Miss Chan?´

`I'm not a little girl.´

Roy looks at her head to toe, like finding it painful to concede the point. He nods slowly.

This next part is easy.

  
***

  
Afterwards: Roy Mustang is looking at her hands.

`You need to teach me some of that alchemy one of these days.´

  
***

  
Hawkeye leaves work early so she can walk her to where she'll be staying. Mei is excited just to be carrying her small suitcase – she has always travelled light, even now that her life is so full of people – through the city streets, with Xiao-Mei also sighing happily in her arm.

`Are you sure you will be fine in a hotel? Even if it's close to headquarters...´

`I don't mind.´

`General Mustang promised to take care of all the bills so enjoy the room service as much as you like,´ she says jokingly. `But if you prefer to come home with me...´

`I couldn't! And this is an official matter, isn't it? I've never been in a hotel with everything paid for, I think it might be fun.´

`Fun? Yes. Well, if that is what you wish, Miss Chan. I bet the hotel room is bigger than my house. I have such a tiny house now.´

  
***

  
She is writing a letter.

She is in Mustang's office; he said she could wait with him until lunch so they could go to the cafeteria together. He got her an authorization so she can eat there, for free, even if she is not a soldier. But he is getting a long time finishing up his paperwork and everybody else has gone downstairs already. It was awkward just waiting so Mei decided to write that letter she promised Winry she would send.

(she started writing a letter to Alphonse as well, although to which of his the many directions he had left should she send it she didn't know; but she could not make it past the first line, scratching it away, suddenly very self-conscious,

 ~~ _Dear Alphonse_~~ )

She is telling Winry about her time in East so far instead: about the hotel, about the comfortable huge bed, about the meals, she fills the letter with ordinary tiny things, dull and precious, tourist's notes, and she tells Winry about how she'd been received and how her efforts to help Jean Havoc have gone – a paragraph about alchemy that she knows Winry will let Edward read for himself – and about the “thank you” Roy Mustang said to pass along for the apple pie. She asks about how Winry's work is going, and about Ed, their lives, people they both know.

Something occurs to Mei.

`What is it?´ Roy inquires, not lifting his gaze from his papers but somehow noticing that Mei has stopped what she was doing and is now looking at him.

`I wonder if I could ask a question.´

Roy, still writing, but looking up: `Anything.´

The girl looks a way for a moment, gathering some courage before asking what she wants to ask.

`Do you have any news of – of Scar?´ Roy frowns at the name. `I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask –´

He shakes his head: `No, it's fine. It doesn't offend me, or anything, it's just...´

`Complicated?´

Finally he leaves what he is doing, setting the files to one side, and putting away his pen. He draws a long breath before replying.

`In more ways than one,´ he says. A pause. Mei wonders if that's all he's going to say. But it's not: `He is fine. He is... helping. It's not what I had in mind but I guess this works out well for everybody. Don't worry about him, Miss Chan. It's not exactly that he is forgiven, but he is safe.´

Mei thinks that this is an answer that doesn't help her situation. She rests her chin on her knuckles, looking out of the window.

`Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever see him again.´

`I wonder that myself,´ Roy Mustang flashes her a tiny smile of sympathy. `Who knows? Anything is possible, or so I choose to believe.´

`I know that he did some terrible things. But I feel he is good.´

That's a bold statement, she knows. Maybe she has no right. The world gets complicated by the minute but Mei believes what she believes. She watches Roy definitely give up on the work and stand from his chair, picking up his coat and getting ready to go downstairs. She follows his lead, putting her unfinished letter between her books, to finish later. She studies Roy's expression. He doesn't seem bothered by her words.

`You are naïve,´ he says after a moment.

`I am a kid,´ Mei protests.

Roy chuckles.

`I wasn't accusing you. I like _naive_. I'd rather you never change that bit.´

  
***

  
She thinks it's weird, how Roy Mustang and his subordinates seem so hectic whenever she seems them, so busy, but the place itself – the building, the town, its people – is so quiet. Mei has been here a handful of days but she finds it easy to get used to it, in that peculiar and a bit lonely way she has of getting used to being on her own. Everybody cares for her and everybody makes a fuss here – she is, after all, a little girl among soldiers – but she has a lot of time on her hands.

After a couple of days she comes back to Jean Havoc to check that what she did is making a difference, she can feel his aura changing bit by bit and she is happy with her achievement. She resolves to become much better at this in the future; when she comes back to Xing, she decides, she is going to study the art relentlessly. Alphonse said he'd come to see her one of these days to learn everything about the power of her country's not-quite-alchemy. Mei decides she is going to impress him.

She asks Mustang to use the library – she is going to get a good start ahead.

***

  
`Come on, Miss Chan. We'll treat you to dinner.´

Mei finds herself turning to a question mark at Hawkeye's gesture of handling Roy his coat and promptly putting on her own. There is something – not quite official but automatic, as if part of a long-ago laid plan. And suddenly Mei worries that Roy Mustang's life is so dangerous that he needs professional security even when he eats.

`Are you his bodyguard?´ she asks, without realizing how prying she sounds. `Do you have to go with him all the time, even meals?´

She sees Roy chuckle – _is he laughing at me?_ and Mei frowns.

`I hope I don't need a bodyguard anymore. Colonel Hawkeye doesn't need to accompany me everywhere, she comes because she wants to. Don't you?´

`That's still to be proven, sir.´

`Miss Chan, do me a favour, don't grow up to be a cruel woman like the Colonel.´

He winks at her and Mei doesn't quite understand what that means but she is happy to be treated like an adult and be let in on a joke.

  
***

  
She feels definitely pampered now; Roy had said something about East cuisine not having anything to envy from Central, even if the restaurants were fewer and less sophisticated. Mei knows nothing about Central's sophistication – her time there didn't leave much room for, er, tourism – and though she still misses Xing's food horribly, she is quite happy with what she is getting tonight. Even though there was a bit of commotion with the waitress when she saw Xiao-Mei (“sorry, no... cats?”) but Roy was only too happy to use his authority ( _he is showing off_ Riza Hawkeye had leaned into her and whispered) to sort it out so Mei's pet was treated to as much of feast as she was.

There is coffee and dessert and when they leave the restaurant Mei is full and content; there's nobody on the street and the sky is so clear, a big and beautiful moon.

`Why don't you stay with Colonel Hawkeye tonight?´ Roy suggests. `It's late and your hotel is on the other side of town.´

And maybe it's the sugar from the cake but Mei finds this idea very exciting.

`Can I?´

Hawkeye nods but then turns to Roy.

`Are you sure?´

He gives her a nod as well, waving the question off, saying `Good night, Miss Chan,´ and `See you tomorrow´ to his Colonel when Hawkeye's car drops him off and Mei is not quite sure what it was about just now, this little exchange so she shrugs, deciding that adults can be quite hermetic and wondering if she will become like that someday.

  
***

  
`Your house really is small,´ Mei says.

Hawkeye smiles at that as she comes and goes from room to room carrying clean sheets, blankets. Mei didn't mean to be rude.

`But it's very pretty,´ she amends.

`It doesn't matter that is small, I'm thinking of moving some place new soon.´

This last bit she says like a secret and Mei doesn't know why, she feels like she on the verge of untangling why but can't just yet. It wrong-foots her. For a moment Hawkeye looks lost, too, unable to follow that up without revealing something inconvenient. She points Mei towards the bedroom.

`You take the bed,´ she says.

`I couldn't –´

`You should. You are the guest of honour.´

It's awkward but warm – the way Hawkeye sets everything to be perfect (she makes the bed smoothing the sheets over and over) and instructs Mei in things like how the water in the bathroom works, and the way she gives her a spare toothbrush and the way she places a glass of water on the bedside table for Mei. When she changes into comfortable clothes Hawkeye seems like a different person – she gives Mei an undershirt she can sleep in, obviously too big but nice. Mei can still see a trace of the scar on Hawkeye's neck.

`Where's your dog?´ Mei asks.

`Fuery has him,´ she replies, a smile creeping into her face. `He does that some nights.´

`Ah.´

Xiao-Mei nudges her, clearing a corner of the bed for itself.

`Good night, Mei.´

This moment is unique, Mei thinks as she lies in bed. There is light outside – not like the natural darkness of Xing nights. And she thinks of Riza Hawkeye sleeping on the couch, and she thinks about breakfast tomorrow and would Hawkeye drive her to Headquarters or should Mei go change first at the hotel. She can't help it, it's exciting, being here, among these people – these lives that are not hers, and don't have that much to do with her, exactly. She think about where the people she loves are right now, and what are they doing: what are Ling and Lan Fan doing right now? Winry? Scar? Dr Knox? Alphonse?

There's a letter I need to write, she tells herself before falling asleep.

  
***

  
The man is presented with a throwaway _Oh, this is Breda_ and he wants to know what Mei is doing waiting at the door of the gym.

`Today was Mister Havoc's first exercising session. I wanted to see if everything was okay.´

`Oh, so you are the little girl who helped Havoc with her alchemy.´

`Don't say it like that,´ Roy cuts in. `By the way, do you even know how to talk to children?´

`What are you saying? I have family, you know. I have a lot of experience, I bet I can talk to children better than you, general.´

Roy Mustang flashes a winning smile, passing it from Mei to Breda.

`Perfect, because the colonel and I are busy this afternoon and Miss Chan needs someone who can drive her around town.´

`It's fine, I don't need-´

`Am I a chauffeur now?´

`Take this chance to do something glamorous for once.´

`Glamorous? Babysitting is glamorous?´

`I'm still here,´ Mei waves at them.

  
***

  
`So where do you want to go? It's not a very big city but we have everything.´

`I don't know...´

`Hey, don't feel intimidated!´

`That's easy for you to say!´

That's easy for him to say, she thinks again, he is not the one in a strange city being touted around by a strange man.

`Do you want an ice cream? Children like ice cream, right.´

`I'm not a child. And didn't you say you have plenty of experience with children, anyway? You said that to Mister Mustang.´

`It's General Mustang, actually, and I was lying to annoy him. I have no idea how to talk to children. Well, I have talked to the Elrics, but they are boys, it's not the same.´

`No, it's not the same.´

She notices him eyeing Xiao Mei with a less than friendly expression on his face.

`What's wrong?´

He snorts.

`You sure we have to take that weird pet of yours everywhere?´

Xiao Mei gives him a menacing look.

They walk, aimlessly, for a couple of minutes.

`So what do you want? Are you hungry? Want to go shopping? Mustang gave me some money so I could treat you.´

Mei shrugs. She can't help it. She does feel a bit intimidated. Breda looks more frustrated by the second and now she is walking besides him with her hands folded and her head low. But then he realizes or something happens because something changes and he stops walking and he faces her; Mei dares a glance at him and his face is not kind and with the sort of irritated expression that Mei has learned is not real but just a joke.

`What about some sweets? Children like sweets,´ he says, and he kind of smiles. `Well, I do like them, anyway.´

  
***

  
In the end it doesn't turn out so bad. Mei puts it down to her natural ability to make everybody like her. What? She does have that ability, or so she tells herself. Mister Breda knows a small, off-centre place for coffee and tea, with the menu written in white chalk on the windows and a great selection of pastry and sweets. It's very lively – all the customers seem to know each other – so if they don't find anything to talk about it's not so awkward, with all the chatter. The tee she orders is bitter and hot and Mei watches the beads of condensation trickle down the glass. Xiao-Mei copies – or mocks? – her movements stirring the drink with a spoon.

She loves to watch the people pass by outside, and Breda seems to quietly join her in that activity.

`Don't you feel lonely in a hotel?´ He asks.

`I already said I'm not a child. I don't feel lonely. A bit homesick but that's part of the fun.´

`The fun?´

`Travelling. I like it. I like Amestris very much. I'd like to come here more often.´

`Well, even if you do, I'm not going to be your chauffeur any more. This was a one-time thing. Get it?´

Mei nods.

She finds that she is enjoying herself.

`Thank you for today, Mister Breda.´

`Still not using our proper ranks?´

`I don't like soldiers much.´

His face soften.

`I know what you mean.´

  
***

  
To understand Xing alchemy you have to understand Xing first.

For a start, it's not called alchemy.

This is what she tells Roy Mustang when he clears his schedule and asks her to show her how her art works.

This is the same lesson she taught Ed when she stayed with him and Winry – Winry complained that she was “a visitor” and that Ed shouldn't involve her in his “alchemy mania” but Mei didn't mind.

Roy takes off his coat and sits on the floor, sleeves rolled up, and catching every thing she says jotting down in his notebook. His frown of concentration, his open bare enthusiasm – Mei thinks that he looks a lot like Ed right now.

Teaching Ed was all right and that but this is an adult and Mei feels a bit silly _explaining_ things to Roy Mustang, she feels a bit out of her depths but he is concentrated on her words and he nods and Mei goes on, as good as she can, and eventually she finds herself enthusiastic.

The hours go by before they know it.

`I think I cannot ask more of you,´ Roy breaks off when he notices the hour.

Mei thinks it's a pity – they could have gone on. She guesses she, too, is what Winry would call an “alchemy maniac”.

She watches Roy straighten up where he sits and begin gathering his things.

`Thank you, Mei.´

Mei blushes without knowing what she is being thanked for; the first time he has called her by her first name since she arrived. It sounds like he is speaking to an old friend, or someone he trusts very much, or someone brave and dear to him, or someone he's known for ages. No one has ever said her name quite like that.

`Why are you thanking me?´

`For letting me glimpse a bit of all this, what you know,´ he says, leaving the notebook on the floor, between them. `Alchemy... my alchemy has done so much damage in the past. You've reminded me how I fell in love with it when I was young. What you did for Havoc... It makes me still believe that this power can be used for the good. It's like a weight had been lifted. That's why, thank you.´

Sitting on the floor besides her and out of his uniform Roy looks younger – still ancient to someone like Mei but younger and more approachable and she understands what he is trying to say; she is not an adult yet but she understands what this adult is saying to her, and how she has achieved something else here, something more intangible than helping a man to walk again. This gratitude, it is heavy, but Mei feels she can shoulder it, she feels she want to shoulder it.

`You're welcome,´ she replies.

  
***

  
That same night, in her hotel room, Mei finally writes that letter.

_Dear Alphonse,_

***

  
The rest of the recovery is a journey that Havoc has to take on his own, so there's really nothing else for Mei to do here.

`So you are leaving today, uh, brat?´

`Don't call me brat. And yes, I am leaving today.´

`Not brat, then? How about ambassador of goodwill from Xing?´

She ventures a smile full of complicity.

`Mister Mustang tried to give me some official title like that.´

`And he would do it, you know?´ Havoc says, unwrapping a brand-new packet of cigarettes. `Wait and see, before you notice it he will be pushing paperwork to you, and all because of a little favour you've done him...´

`Little favour? Also, I don't think you should smoke while you are recovering.´

`Recovering? Ah, yes, I'm going to be late for my session. I keep telling them I can't come running to the appointment, ha ha. Cripple humour, you can laugh.´

`'s not a very good joke.´

The man smirks; Mei has the feeling he is going to be just fine.

`Brat it is then. I have to go now, I guess. Have a good trip and that sort of thing.´

`Thank you. Do your exercises, please.´

`Yeah, yeah, I know.´ He turns to leave but doesn't quite do it yet. He looks at Mei over his shoulder: `By the way. This little favour you've done for the general? I don't need to tell you how grateful I am. Do I?´

They look at each other for a moment, and then they both look away, embarrassed.

`No,´ she mutters before turning to him. `And I'm very proud of my hard work, so don't make it all go to waste.´

Havoc grins at her, his cheeks definitely flushed. Adults and children, Mei thinks, they are pretty much the same. It gives her hope that she can become a proper one someday. If Jean Havoc can manage surely she can.

`Deal,´ he says, offering his hand.

Mei accepts it.

They shake hands very formally, his hand is big and warm around hers; shaking hands always seemed a bit ridiculous to Mei but maybe there are things hard to convey without the aid of a good handshaking, maybe it can be like a secret code for when words are difficult.

  
***

  
How Roy Mustang always seems like he is in a hurry, she thinks, like he's always _just come out_ of doing something very important, and just on the nick of time. Now that she knows this about him Mei wonders if she is going to miss seeing him like this, always turning a corner, his coat always being put on or taken off.

`I'm driving you to the station,´ he explains, escorting her out of the hotel. `Breda offered but I had to disappoint him, poor thing. You are going to be a real heart-breaker in a couple of years, Miss Chan, of this I have no doubt.´

She doesn't quite know how to take compliments from adults. Scar and Yoki never complimented her.

Maybe she likes it, at least today she does.

  
***

  
In the car he is silent – not like when he is working and there's energy in his silence, or when Mei was teaching him and he was all concentration and regard for her words. There's something else, here: Mei is aware of it as she catches the beautiful, humble buildings of East City pass by her side.

She wonders how long it will be until she sees them again.

Roy clears his throat.

`I just have to say...´ he slows the car a bit, as if he didn't want the distraction of speed to cloud his words: `If I'm ever in a position to repay the favour... Not just this one but – I can't forget your kindness helping Colonel Hawkeye back then, I never will.´

`It's not a favour. It wasn't a favour. If I see somebody who needs help, why wouldn't I give it? It's natural.´

A small smile. A last token to take home with her.

`I think so, too. Maybe it will be better if you were Emperor and not Yao, after all.´

Mei sighs, amused.

`That's what I've been telling them all this time,´ she says.

  
***

  
They arrive at the station early. Mei studies the layout of her complicated journey home – the train will only get her as far as the frontier. Roy puts her suitcase down and they both sit on a bench in the platform. Xio-Mei jumps out of her arms and inspects the surroundings while Roy makes sure Mei has all the papers she needs with her: he has managed to issue a visa for her, not a temporary one, but papers that basically allow her to go anywhere inside the country. Mei thanks him once more for it. Does he know how much it means to her?

`Miss Chan,´ he says before the train comes.

`Yes.´

`The railway to Xing... I personally promise it will be achieved soon. It will be easy to come here from Xing. When that happens... I hope you come visit us often.´

`Hmm,´ Mei makes a committed sound and curls her hand into a fist of determination, a promise.

The train approaches the station, the oddly sad whistle of its coming. Mei feels oddly sad. As if she didn't want to go. She will not cry in front of Roy Mustang.

And Roy Mustang, he carries her bags inside and he waits in the platform and he salutes her sternly. As the train pulls away Mei peeks out of the window. Roy Mustang's formal salute turns into a warm _goodbye_ hand-wave.

His silhouette disappears so soon.

And then the whole city does as the train leaves it far behind.

Mei feels like a little, silly girl.

But at least she didn't cry in front of him.


End file.
